Etiquette Tips When Asking for a Reference

Dear future kinesiology graduates,

Have you gone through the process of finding references for an academic or job application? Will you be doing it in the near future? Well let’s talk about asking for references and the etiquette tips to consider.

Firstly, what is a reference? References are people who can talk about your academic or work experience, habits, character and skills. It may be an academic, work or character reference depending on the application that you are applying to. Some applications may even ask for multiple references under the different categories. You may need references when applying to graduate school, jobs and certifications.

Note: Throughout this post, a reference is defined as a mixture of what is mentioned above. Whether for an educational program or an employment opportunity, a reference request will look different/have different expectations based on the organization. This can be in the form of a letter/questionnaire filled out by your reference, a phone call, a virtual call, or no contact at all. Some tips may be more relevant for written context versus a reference for a phone call interview, but some can relate to both!

Secondly, how do you find references? Usually, a reference can’t be a family member or a close friend (listed on most applications). I would recommend making a list of people who could be potential references for you in a certain category (academic, work experience, extracurricular/character). Start to narrow down the list - consider people who you believe will speak highly of your accomplishments, work ethic and qualifications. Timing is also important when finding references. You don’t want to ask a professor who you have not spoken with in three years to be a reference. One, they probably don’t recall your performance/behavior/etc. Two, if they even said yes, the letter would likely not be personal and touch on key points about who you are or provide specific examples of your performance. Keep in mind how well you have kept in contact with someone when considering them to be a reference, especially if it’s been over a year since you had a class/worked with them.

Thirdly, how do you ask? You can ask in person, call, or email someone about being a reference for you. When writing a reference letter request email, you can consider the following frameworks:

• (Re-)Introduce yourself (this depends on level of relationship you have with them - this may not be necessary in all cases)
• Ask if they would be a reference and explain for what, when it's needed, and why they would make a good reference
• Thank them for their time and response

Here’s a made up example add to it for more detail on your application:

My Experience Asking for a Reference

When I first needed a reference when applying to a job in high school, I asked my hockey coach and one of my high school teachers. I just needed permission to use their name and phone number but didn’t think much past that.

In the spring of my last semester of my undergraduate, I had to ask for a reference letter when applying for my Masters degree, which became more intimidating. I pondered who to ask and decided based on who I had grown to know well and spent the most time with over the past four years, but also who I trusted. I asked in person with very little notice and thankfully it was completed on time. I thanked my references and shared the news of my acceptance into the program!

It wasn’t until my Masters degree (when I chose to apply for the CSEP-CEP) where I thought more diligently about who my references were and an appropriate time length and email to ask. At this point I had experienced being a reference myself for students who I taught which helped change my perspective on the process of asking for a reference.

My Experience Being a Reference

From being a teaching assistant (TA) during my Masters degree, as well as a clinical exercise physiologist-instructor for a rehabilitation and exercise program at a university, I have had a handful of students over the past 3 years ask if I would be a reference for them (how flattering!). I also love helping where possible so of course I had no problem with taking on such a task. However, as I would be filling out the reference paperwork or on the phone with the employer I did have moments of frustration. Not because I didn’t want to do it, but some pieces were not well explained by the student or I could not write in depth because the student never took additional time to speak to me more so I could understand A. Why they were applying B. Their background and C. What my role would be in the process.

I had good experiences, but also poor experiences when being a reference and it all came down to the clarity and effort put in by the student. Below is my advice when asking someone to be a reference for you.

Etiquette Tips When Asking for a Reference

1) Make sure the reference relates to the application.

Depending on what is required for the application, make sure the person you are asking is able to fall under the category or what the employer is looking for. For example, a professor or TA for academic work, or a supervisor or instructor that witnessed hands-on and communication skills. It may seem like a no-brainer, but I had been put down as an academic supervisor for a student when she was a student-volunteer in my fitness class and the questions I got asked were about academic performance. I couldn't answer most questions because I had never seen this student perform academically, whereas I knew her talents from hands-on skill and social interaction with clients… it makes it harder to answer the questions if the person asked does not line up with the intent of the reference.

2) Give your reference a lot of time.

If the reference you need is more than a phone call interview, then it is important to ask and give as much notice as possible when asking for a reference, because everyone is human and going through their own life schedule. It should not be expected that the reference will drop everything else to complete this for you. Many references will likely have a full-time job, side projects, and even children! Make sure time is given for them to complete it around their hectic life schedule. I would recommend reaching out at least a month before the application is due, but the more time the merrier! Bonus: This will also allow you to have the ability to check-in after a few weeks if it is still not complete.

3) Provide as much useful information for the reference process as possible.

Each job and school reference application can be different (I haven’t had two the same yet!) so it can be helpful and kind to provide as much information as possible in an email to the reference so they can return to it when they need it. This way there is no confusion on their end on what needs to be done and it makes it an easier process for them!

4) Provide background information about yourself.

Providing background information about yourself can help your reference have a general understanding about what your future endeavors and aspirations are and the importance of how this reference will be a step in the process. As a reference, I have received students’ resumes and background information via email on why they are applying for medical school, a job, etc. If time allows, sit down and talk to the person about yourself more and why you are applying! I know it can be intimidating, but try to have a conversation when possible. The best has been when I was able to get to know my student volunteers from general conversation before and after the fitness classes.

I previously had a student (when I was a teaching assistant) who asked if I could be a reference for an academic academy and knew I understood his grades but not a lot of additional information about why he was looking to join the group. He asked if I would be able to have a Zoom call outside of the lab so he could not only explain the reference part but also why he wanted to apply for the academy. This was extremely helpful in developing a better understanding of his future endeavors and why this would be an important step for him. It allowed me to have better context and speak on more than just academic achievements.

Though this may not always be possible due to a reference's busy schedule, I recommend at least introducing yourself via email to your reference to make sure the background information is given!

5) Check-in 1-2 weeks before the reference is due.

This is extremely important. Life can get busy and the reference may have not been able to spend time working on the reference letter or answering the questions. However, depending on what mode the reference request is, it could be worth confirming with your reference that they've actually received the email, link, document, etc. Previously I had a student apply to multiple graduate schools and I thought I filled out all of the required information. It turns out I missed a link previously sent in a separate email and did not realize it wasn’t complete! When she reached out to check in, it brought to my attention that I did not complete everything, even though I thought I did.

6) Don’t forget to say thank you!

It is so important to recognize that your reference has taken time out of their lives to help you in your own pursuits. They don’t get an award for being a reference. Make sure to be kind and show your appreciation for being able to take on the role of a reference! In your thank you email, make sure to update them on if you get into the program, job or certification you applied to. As a reference, it is such a nice message to receive and would also help to maintain the relationship!

In summary, whoever you ask to be your reference, make sure it is a fitting reference for the application and that you provide information about the reference process and about yourself. It is important to show why you are applying and how they can help you! Don’t feel bad emailing them to check-in with the application, because they may have goofed like I did. If you have any further questions about the references, feel free to contact any us mentors.

Sincerely,

Your Kines Mentor